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'Cause sometimes I even surprise the knit out of myself.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Concerts, Trainwreckin', Angry Pirates, and 80s Hair

Grab yourself a chair and some rum. This will be a long one. This past weekend was quite interesting as you may have gathered from the post title. My weekend started off with a little rock n roll y'all. I went to the much-anticipated Shinedown concert at the Electric Factory also featuring Black Stone Cherry and Theory of a Deadman. (Check Kubus Krafts on my bloglines to the right here b/c I'm sure she'll be posting the other pictures of this weekend). I had forgotten how entertaining a good metal show was on so many levels. Music is what originally bonded my husband and my SIL, Tammy back in the day. We spent a lot of time over at what once was the Birchhill Nightclub in NJ seeing our favorite rock bands from the 80s and 90s. My SIL met her husband at one of those very shows as he was touring with an hair metal band. The rest is history.

So we left after 5PM on Friday with my Blackberry in hand, yes, the electronic leash came out for a little test run. We arrived at the Electric Factory in Philly and debated if we really wanted to stand in line to get in the door for an hours because I am starting to feel my age and not liking standing in 100 degree heat. We had a plan though. As soon as we were able to get inside, shoot up the stairs and grab three stools next to the railing. The Electric Factory is standing room only by the way, unless you are sitting at the bar, a few risers or the stools on the second floor where we planned to be for the entire show. You see, I have no desire to be on the floor anymore and caught in the whole human body pong thing. Not how I roll at all anymore.
So as usual, we are so strategic in our planning, the boy gets through his pat-down line quicker than the girls and shoots up the stairs and scores 3 stools at the 2nd level railing right by an industrial fan. That's my boy! So we settled in and let the snarkfest begin. If I were a comedian, I would have enough snarky material for the next year. It's a wonder Tammy and I are allowed out to play together. We are trouble. As the flair button she sent me on Facebook, we will be the ones causing chaos at the nursing home when we are older.
I learned a couple things since the last metal concert I had gone to was Metallica and Godsmack for Roland's birthday a little while back. Prepare for the snarkfest (the bulletpoints aren't working, sorry):

  • The mullet will never die. I witnessed several representations of it including the Farrah Fawcett mullet. No, it wasn't light, fluffy and feathered like you picture. It was on a guy in a Hawaiian shirt. It wasn't pretty. Trust me on this. Would I lie to you? (Whoop whoop this is the fashion police). The most fashionable mullet I've ever seen was on Bono. Good grief, who doesn't love that man? I know I do. Bring the mullet, sunglasses, and leather jacket....I'll bring the rum. The streets will have no name because we won't remember what they were. *snort*

  • Who ever said life is not a spectator sport is partially wrong. People-watching is a spectator sport.
  • To be a waitress in the Electric Factory, your underwear must match your outfit. How do I know this? Industrial fans, second floor, and looking in the direction at the wrong time. *shakes head* Just sayin'.
  • Watched someone do an interpretive dance of a cocoon opening up to a butterfly during Shinedown's "The Crow and the Butterfly". If the rendition was the crow eating the butterfly, that would have been much more entertaining for me, but I digress.

  • Opened cell phones have replaced the luminescent impact of lighters during the token power ballad.
  • The lead singer of Shinedown was awesome, but we couldn't help noticing he was channeling his inner Geoff Tate. Someone needs to pull the Operation Mindcrime DVDs away from him before they tour. LOL. No seriously, I adore Queensryche and Geoff Tate, but he had the whole black jeans, boots, black leather jacket, and slicked back ponytail thing going on. I was waiting for him to belt out "Operation Mindcrime".

  • IMO, 45+ women that are well-endowed should wear bras. Bra-less woman + alcohol + bouncy metal song is not a pleasant combination for the people around you. Trust me, they will pay attention to the perky 20 year olds. Pack it in and get yourself a demi or a push-up, but it ain't the bra-burning 70's anymore and I actually have closer connection with my bras in my old age. It's called gravity ladies. I would not want to see my 60 year old mom looking like a human form of pong under her shirt, drink in hand, and everyone around you gaping at the visual trainwreck. Someone could have lost and eye. This has been a public service announcement. I am Holy Knitballs and I approve this message.

  • In addition, dancing does not = tossing shoulders side to side demonstrating lack of said "boulder holder". When my husband looks at the both of us with a look of disgust on his face saying "I really didn't need to see that", you know it was bad.
  • There was a rather odd human body pong going on down on the floor, which I was safely processing, rum in hand, from our people-watching perch on the second floor. How does one mosh to Shinedown? Help me here.

  • Rum is good, but there wasn't enough rum in the room. Smell what I'm cookin?
  • We gave my brother-in-law hell from not grabbing us Dropkick Murphy t-shirts when he toured with them this year. We saw a shirt that said "Shamrock n Roll" on the back and we immediately wanted it. We both speculated if it was the Dropkick Murphy's. Out jumps the Blackberry between bands and voila! I want my Dropkick Murphy t-shirt. Nudge nudge wink wink oh dearest brother-in-law blog lurker.

  • Note I am getting old. We knew the set list and jetted out the venue during the last encore song well before the house lights came up. We were out of the parking lot before the Shinedown hit the bridge of the song or folks realized their drinks were empty.
  • Came home and celebrated BIL's birthday at midnight. Long live RUM. There's more rum later in this post. Lots of it.
  • Long live the ROCK FIST!

I had to attend a wedding. So use of the open bar and more people-watching fun was had by all. This time instead of lack of bras, it was a lack of a dancing pole and some decency. *shakes head* I just don't get it. 10 years from now everyone will remember the girl on the dance floor who practically sucked the flask wine with a straw between each song. Reaaaaal classy, let me tell ya. I happen to catch a glance to the dance floor and must have sucked in my cheeks in either disbelief or embarrassment for the girl, and the other girl whom I've known since marrying in caught my glance and proceeded to give me the "I'm watching you, Focker" meet the parents, put two fingers to her eyes, to mine, and back to hers. The whole time she was saying "oh I'm with you girlfriend". Somehow, I made it through that night.

Oh I remember, I also drowned my displeasure in a little fibah. Yes, I am a conformed Koigu lover now. (Thanks Sairy!) This is a lurvely orange color that I have a pattern in mind for upon spotting it. It's something I charted out, so we'll see how that works and get a swatch going to show y'all.

The other one is a little more of my "crush" yarn, Dream in Color Classy. This is the Petal Shower colorway. I've got my eye on using it for the Placed Cable Aran from Interweave.

The next day we had a little birthday gathering for my brother-in-law at our house. We grilled and I experimented with my mixologist skillz. For realz people, I made a mean drink. I found a recipe for something like a "Caribbean pirate" or something like that. My SIL and I are fond of rum when there is a drink involved. (What? Have you not noticed the presence of pirates on this blog?) I decided to make up my own drink and happily dubbed it the angry pirate since it was now reddish-orange.

Here's what I did and notice I give you no measurements, but the ingredients go from highest to least amounts. Bartenders are cringing now. I am one of those "throw it in the pot and see how it tastes" kind of people.

Angry Pirate (a la Holy Knitballs)

Malibu Coconut Rum

Pineapple juice

Banana Liqueur

Blackberry Brandy (a wee bit)

Grenadine for color and sweetness

2, 3, or 7 Maraschino cherries depending on how you roll

There were two pitchers of this potent poteen gone by the end of the night. YUM! These are dangerous.

I did buy this for my BIL before the rum was even a thought though. How funny is this shirt? We have this little joke thing about squirrels and this was a "had to get" as soon as I saw it.

Ok I'm tired now. There was entirely to much people-watching, dance floor trainwreckin', and rum for me this weekend.

Cartman sez,

Oh and with all of the talk of 1983 lately, I've decided to create an 80s meme. Raise your lighter in the air, peg those Z. Cavarrici's, and wave that can of Aqua Net like you don't care. Friday is going to be "80s Hair Friday". Dig out that picture of the garden weasel on the top of your head and your Wham T-shirts! I'll post the meme late Thursday night with my 80s picture of shame. Prepare to play along!


At 9:26 AM, Blogger Robin said...

LOL, so many things to comment on!! I alluded slyly to our Friday plan in my blog post today, but it's actually better that you spelled it out so people can start digging out those embarrassing pictures!! My last metal concert was in 1999 - Metallica playing in a cornfield in Pecatonica, IL. Just imagine 20,000 people swarming into a town of less than 1,000, and you have the picture. Jim just went to see Iron Maiden a few months ago, but I was out on that one.

At 10:03 AM, Blogger Lesley said...

Whoa, WAY too many things to comment on! As for the 80s pictures, I don't know if I can play along. See, I went to Hopewell Valley, and that place was preppy as all get-out, so I missed out on the 80s hair. Which is just as well because hairspray is not so good for the asthma. Although when I went to college in 1991 I was most intrigued by the girls who did things like use curling irons. Especially the ones who would spray their hair while it was on the curling iron. How does that work???

Oh and I am totally with you on the bra thing. It is very important to support the masses. I've seen a few that make me want to say "You spent how much on those implants and you can't even spare a few bucks to buy a decent bra?!!"

At 10:29 AM, Blogger Kim said...

Excellent post! I felt like I was at the show with the bewbs and the mullets. Let em tell you, I coveted Bono's mullet from the cover of War (??). Back then it was just Bono's awesome hair and not a cheesy mullet. I am so amped for the 80s meme! Tonight I've got to dig out the photo of my worst 80s hair. I posted my old passport photo where i had good hair last month. Here's the link to my hair:

At 1:14 PM, Blogger KubusKrafts said...

Once my I get my sobriety in check I will be posting about the concert. Of course your description is excellent so maybe I will just post some pictures and point at them.

You make a kick ass Angry Pirate! I'm sure that you can recreate that fabulous pitcher again for a pirate night, soon!!!

I also have to say "Ha Ha Ha, you had to go to the family function and I didn't" LOL Sorry I missed it.....NOT!

Thanks for enabling my husband and his "specialness".

Garden Weasel hair...I'm digging them out....I know I'm tagged....but remember I was and always will be a rock and roller!


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